Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

I was never the one who loves to interpret a song. Let alone know everything about it. And this time is no different from what it has used to be. And like all the used-to-be’s, it wasn’t my fault that the status quo declares that all woman species are forbidden to enter the kingdomhood of courting. Not that I tried to break that law, I just felt more of a leftist at this very moment.

“I would have felt sorry then, thinking that it meant the whole world to me and it meant the whole world to everyone, but you.”

Never mind I’ll find someone like you

I wasn’t very much sure where to place that comma. Will it be after never mind? Or will it be after someone? All I know is that there was supposed to be a brief halt somewhere. Like that pregnant pause you gave me after I almost whispered those three little words that meant the whole world to me.

I wasn’t sure if, for you, it meant never mind. Like you never cared at all. Like those three little words meant nothing. I would have felt sorry then, thinking that it meant the whole world to me and it meant the whole world to everyone, but you.

But then, it may have been something that would insinuate victory; that finally, I have found someone not everybody is given the chance to find. Like those three little words were like hidden treasures and I had the map and was able to discover the world’s most palpable clandestine pearl. It would have felt like you have also played your part by allowing yourself to be unearthed.

Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste

But then, how dare you allow me to say things I should have never said? Things I would regret. Things I might never say to anyone, ever again? You’re the one who’s selfish. You’re the one who left me hanging. You’re the one with the map, and now, you have found. And you have lost. You have lost what might have been the most palpable clandestine pearl in the surface of the planet. It was your loss, not mine.

And why didn’t anybody tell me about this? Everyone would have known how bittersweet this would taste. Everyone has been there, somewhere, sometime. And yet, you have deluded me from this simple fact? This bittersweet damn fact? Capital if you see Kaye.

I wish nothing but the best for you

I heard that you’re settled down, that you found a girl and you’re married now. And I heard that your dreams came true. Guess she gave you things I didn’t give to you. But then, I would have thought that what more could you ask for? But then, I must have thought I have given you everything you have ever wanted…and maybe, without even really knowing what it is that you have always wanted.

Was I… was I selfish? Or you were just too naive to holler at me and tell me things you thought I knew. That what you may have always wanted to tell me aren’t a response to those three little words. That you have always wanted to make me realize that I could never give you what you have always wanted because I don’t have it. I simply never had it. And. How can you give something you never had?

Well, never mind. I just wish nothing but the best for you. Thanks Adele and to this “Someone Like You”.

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2 thoughts on “Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

  1. i felt i was reading the very soft spot of joan..
    the very delicate part of you, bgurl..
    so heartwarming and heart…..breaking..
    i feel i was just listening to you sharing all those to me one midnight..
    i sooo miss you!
    i so love it, so brown, so coffee, so nostalgic… so ….. sad but beautiful. 🙂

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