The Reality of Fear

Green Lantern taught me the essence of fear and its crippling effects on a person and life in general. But a simple GM (group message) unmasked the reality beyond all our known phobias and even the scariest thing in the world.

Received, 07:27:40PM, 15.11.2011, Message: REALITY OF FEAR

  • You’re not scared of the dark, you’re scared of what’s in it.
  • You’re not afraid of heights, you’re scared of falling.
  • You’re not afraid of the people around you, you’re afraid of rejection.
  •  You’re not afraid to love, you’re just afraid of not being loved back.
  • You’re not afraid to let go, you’re just afraid of the reality that s/he’s gone.
  • You’re not afraid to try again, you’re just afraid of getting hurt for the same reason.

And for some godamned pretext, in several aspects of our life, we have felt a certain aha! tsug! pak! with at least one of those statements. Don’t even try to deny.

Every single one of us, human as we are, of course we would try. To deny, I mean. We say we’re brave to sleep alone in our bedroom, in an evening where the power was down. We dare to bungee jump and shout our hearts out just to prove to them that heights don’t mean anything. And another common denominator? We try to please everyone. Even though cliché is whispering in our ears, saying every single time that we…really can’t please everyone. We always and always try to show them we have what it takes and we are the best. Simply the best.

Then, there’s love. The world’s  most favourite past time giggle. And the girls’ most talked about topic over coffee breaks. We always try to find (while some always try to wait) for THE ONE. Although, there are still others who just can’t get over smooshing over their very own Prince Charming or Mr. Darcy. Or in our generation’s term, it’s Edward Cullen or Lee Dong Wuk. But when we have reached our heart’s destination, felt like the long journey (or the long waiting period) is over, we never make the first move. Or if you’re the guy (believe me, I know), you have to be convinced that we would reciprocate the feeling and respond in the most appropriate, status-quo-kind-of way. Or simply put, you have to make sure everything is mutual before making THE MOVE.

While for those who have loved and WAS being loved, we believe in the concept of “love is lovelier the second time around” or “when you truly love someone, let him/her go; if s/he comes back, s/he’s yours forever.” Come on. That’s why most people spend their time mulling over the gifts he gave you on your nth mmmsary or that very first love letter she tried so hard to place on your notebook. Some would even override the three-month rule. Not because you still love her. But maybe because it’s just so damn hard to believe that she was the one who left and that you were the one who was left behind.

And for the last point, I doubt if many still cling on the saying that all we have to do is try and try until we succeed. But when reality strikes, the more we try and the more we fail, it’s just getting more and more frustrating. It’s like you’re stuck up. Not because you can’t try again or you just can’t move on. But more so because you have failed again and again and you’re suffering and is hurting for that fucking same reason, oh for Pete’s sake! You ask yourself, why? WHY.

But, at the end of the day, those were just easy facades to make ourselves believe that we’re strong. And that we are better than this. Whenever we encounter the harsh truth of life, our intelligence say that we know what to do, that we’re strong, that everything’s gonna be okay, that we’re better than this.  Then we immediately process our brains, yelling “WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING!”, “YES! DO THIS, DO BLAH-BLAH-BLAH….”

What if, it would be much better if we believe Bob Ong when he said that, “paminsan, kailangan mo rin ng lakas para sabihing mahina ka.” And allow ourselves the truth and the reality that we deserve.  Just like the sets of fears that we have. We are at times, weaken by these fears. But what if, the only way to really face them head on is by acknowledging the fact that lies behind those masks of phobias and mainstreamed terrors. Look at these realities. Accept them. Then maybe, we’ll know, like really know, how to conquer them. Even if we suffer. Even if it hurts. Even if it’s more painful.


4 thoughts on “The Reality of Fear

  1. ■ I’m not scared of the dark but I fear being scared
    ■ I’m not afraid of heights, I’m worried that I might jump.
    ■ I’m not afraid of the people around me, I’m scared they may realise I don’t recognise them.
    ■ I’m not afraid to love, but rejection destroys me.
    ■ I’m not afraid to let go, I’m afraid that I will punish myself for doing so.
    ■ I am too afraid to try again.

    • Thank you for sharing the reality of your fears to me. I believe it’s not that easy. But if you would allow me to say this, maybe life is somehow, about a series of painful endings and hopeful beginnings. So to love life, let’s not allow our fears to hinder us from trying again. Cheers!

    • Thank you for taking the time to read this entry. It’s good to know that there’s someone out there who does understand what I’m trying so hard to say. Cheers!

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