After watching The Devil Wears Prada, I finally realized why I messed up and what went wrong.
There wasn’t anybody who stops and hinders from me from doing anything and saying anything…well, except for myself. And I know I would be efficient and would be able to contribute good ideas. All I have to do is believe in them. Believe in me. And that if I don’t, nobody will.
Well, this is, indeed another cliché. But it’s something that is very difficult to put into action. Ang hirap niyang isiksik sa utak. Parang lagi mong gustong sigawan ang sarili mo na “HEY! YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHAT TO DO! SO WHY DON’T YOU JUST DO IT?!?” Haha.
In many ways than one, I would like to believe that I’m a lot like Andrea. And that, after almost a month at work, I thought I have already prepared myself for a lot of encounters with my very own Miranda Presley’s. Well, I guess I would have to do a lot of rethinking then.
Today, I was able to push myself to speak during the Social Development Council meeting. And it felt…good. Although I had hallucinations that I could actually see gazes and crumples in the forehead from the people there and that I could actually hear what they think about me, at kahit may times na ako ay nagbubula, I just did it. I did it. I just did it! Well, I had to admit that Pareng Bert really, really intimidates me. And Sir Aryx too. But then I realized that, hey, they could actually be the very people who would be able to help me bring out the best in me. ‘Di ba lagi kong sinasabi na ayoko ng mediocre. Ayoko ng so, so. But then I have been settling with people who refuse to reprimand me or worse, just settle with what I give to them and say that “Hey! This is the best!” Dammit. I know I’m not perfect. And that I occasionally commit mistakes.
Well the point is, I am being challenged. And that if I do want to work at the mainstream media industry, I would really meet many Miranda’s there. And that I would start with a Pareng Bert and a Sir Aryx. Don’t get me wrong though. I personally believe that they are brilliant people. Even more than brilliant. And that, they are my inspiration. Pareng Bert most especially.
So as I approach my first monthsary at work, which will be tomorrow (on the 16th), I would be an Andrea who is efficient in her work and strives and knows what she really wants to do in her life. With a family that supports her dreams and someone special (hopefully soon) who’s always more than willing to back her up. Fighting!